Quote List

Quote List - man with megaphone

1) “We’re professionals.”
2) “Big-ass bomb.”
3) “Large-ass boat.”
4) “I’m going to swing it…”
5) “It says right here in the rules in black and white: ‘Jerry Bittner will die.’”
6) “I’m a-gonna kill you!”
7) “Just say, ‘Or no’ to drugs.”
8) Agent: “Is that crossed out on our copy?” Admin: “No, I just realized I can’t spell Arthur Treacher’s.”
9) Admin: “In the aerial photo, the dirt looks greenish brown. It’s kind of weird.” Agent: “Maybe it’s tundra!”
10) “Without the element of surprise, we’re no match for 1000 people.”
11) “We don’t have to be realistic, just kill them.”
12) “I know everything there is to know about engineering. To some extent.”
13) Agent 1: “If you were really awake, tell me how many people we killed in that last room.” Agent 2: “All of them.”
14) Agent 1: “All right, let’s assume worst case scenario.” Agent 2: “O.K. There’s a 10-megaton device under the podium.”
15) “Joel made me start smoking.”
16) Agent 1: “How can they shoot?” Agent 2: “They have guns.”
17) Admin: “If you guys do this right, you won’t have to worry about it.”
18) “I know – Let’s hijack a plane!”
19) “It’s a target-rich environment.”
20) “If she wasn’t a hot babe before, she sure is now!”
21) “Ranger, I think you should drop prone.”
22) Admin: “What do you do?” Agent: “I turn. No, wait! I wheel about and…No! I wait, and …wheel about….”
23) “I like to see what I’m looking at.”
24) NPC: “I am an official of the Soviet government!” Agent: “Well, you can officially suck my dick!”
25) “This…is a big cliff.”
26) Admin: “Anyone here speak German?” Agent: “Yeah, it’s my native tongue!”*
27) “Ah, screw it. I just punch her.”
28) “Jerry, run down there and spray that camera.”
29) “I drop prone. No wait! First I pull the knife out of my chest. Then I drop prone.”
30) “Called shot to the island.”
31) “How much of a problem can sixty guys be?”
32) “You have what you have.”
33) “I shoot the damn thing!”
34) Agent (discussing mission payment): “A million two? That’s fairly flat.”
35) “Let’s open this door like we know what we’re doing?”
36) Admin: “In the center of the room is a 10-foot square table with a guy on each side.” Agent: “So there’s two guys then?”
37) “Mr. Tork, we did Lennon.”
38) Agent 1: “Some of the terms were architectural.” Agent 2: “And some of them were sandwiches.”
39) “Are you done cleaning that door yet?”
40) Admin: “You hit him in the helmet.” Agent: “And it’s got Excedrin written all over it.”
41) “Of course I can’t hear him! I’ve got my finger in my ear!”
42) “ …so then I went to the airport, but actually I was already there, so I just got off the plane.”
43) “We’re drivin’ to Damascus!”
44) Agent 1: “If we kill someone, do we get the points for all the people they killed?” Agent 2: “Wow, imagine if we could get Hitler!”
45) “Under those rules, when Hitler committed suicide he doubled his experience points.”
46) “If we wrap ourselves in chain-link fence, will it protect us from rockets?”
47) Agent (in HTH combat): “My strength is a 138. I rolled a 3.” Admin: “Where do you want him? Detroit?”
48) “My questions are answered. Yours are irrelevant.”
49) “If it isn’t raised up, it must be pretty low.”
50) “Singapore: The Crime-Free City.”
51) “Twenty!”
52) “I know it was invisible dammit! I hit my head on it!”
53) “If it’s even, it’s right. If it’s not, it’s odd.”
54) “I am the genie of the A-P-C! Wop-bop-a-loo-bam, a-lop-bam-boom!”
55) Admin: “The book is one of the lost texts from the Library in Alexandria.” Agent: “I take it you don’t mean D.C.?”
55) “So what’s the deal with these wenches walkin’ by?”

*Note: The veracity of this quote has been questioned.. Another version of this quote substitutes Czechoslovakian as the language instead of German. Irregardless, this quote or some variation of it, has been used so many times by our group that it has taken on truly epic proportions and the origins of the quote may become lost in time!